[ He may indeed surprise you, Ezra. Still yet the Maul you've long known, though. ] Yet is it not that suffering which can lead to action; to strength?
And in this case, how do you honor the man you knew while facing the man he is not yet and may never become?
Suffering can can lead to strength and action, in overcoming it. But also can simply lead to a cycle of misery, being locked into inaction out of fear. Or at repeating the same actions over and over and expecting different result, which can be its own misery.
[More lightly-] I support this man, try to give him some comfort, even advice. Pay the things Master Kenobi gave to me forward. [With some humor-] And try not to mention when I'm practically quoting him to himself.
[ Pardon him while he has a silent crisis. He thinks over a number of things and flies through various emotions. Anger, of course. The repeating actions certainly struck a chord with him. Grief, pain. Again, Maul concludes that while his hatred for Sidious has grown over the years there was a truth to what the man had said long ago. He does not want to let go of things but he does want to stop repeating the actions which have not served him. Choose a different path toward resolution.
Needless to say, he has a few thoughts on the whole Kenobi thing, given its Kenobi, but in some miraculous turn of events the Zabrak kept them to himself. Snide comments and all. Those could come at another time. The silence continued for a long time until he was certain, he was positive of what he wanted to say. Difficult as it might be he was going to say it confidently. ]
I want— to trust you. I do not expect the same.
[ A long pause. ] I do not know how much or in what way; what I want to become or— but I know that how I feel now and the actions I choose rarely serves me in the end. This pain... [ Strained, easy to feel. It was overwhelming. It no longer gave him power. It controlled him instead of allowed him to grow. ] It stopped serving me years ago. I blamed Kenobi for that for many years. [ He... kind of still does but one step at a time. ] The truth is, Ezra. It was always going to be Anakin. If I had not been presumed dead on Naboo my time would have come one way or another.
And I am tired of being in the shadow of a man who had long stopped being my Master. [ That was it, wasn't it? He claimed to no longer be a Sith but he preached what Sidious taught him all the same. Arguably not even true Sith philosophy in many accounts. ] It does nothing for me. I knew it long ago, but then you came along and I thought maybe this time. I can't. There is no this time.
[Ezra is, in turn, also quiet for a long moment, trying to digest when...well, honestly, not a long speech for Maul -
But he sincerely believes Maul is digging down to pull out things he's been avoiding, so in this sense, that was a lot of words.
He replies, simply, slow but mostly even in tone-]
It would have been Anakin. Or if not him, someone else he thought he could get some new advantage out of. No matter what, he wouldn't have given - maybe he didn't promise things outright, but I'm sure he implied them. He never for one minute wanted you to be...a person, actual and whole.
He wouldn't have tolerated at his side, someone he believed could come out from his shadow, be his equal, or surpass him.
I think...if you keep looking, really looking, at yourself and everything around you, and be honest with yourself about what you see, you may find that, in fact, you can be all those things. Complete without him, and greater than him. Not in the way of the Sith, I suppose. But in your own way.
[Ezra believes Maul is all those things already - a whole person who isn't beholden to Sidious. But he needs time to see it.]
[ It was a lot of words. More words than he had intended to speak but they were words he'd been holding onto for longer than perhaps he knew; things he would have held on to even longer had his story not ended the way that it did. ]
Yes, well he did claim that we had become rivals. [ That ended with am amused chuckle, and funnier yet was that at the time he hadn't even considered the idea. His talk about how he'd done everything in service of Sidious was partially true. He'd indeed been seeking ways to once again prove himself a worthy apprentice. Foolish now when he thought about it. ]
[ But there was a pause; a surprise in how Ezra answered. Feelings that he thought not possible while still breathing and alive. Perhaps feelings that Ezra could feel. Things that weren't so dark. Hope, maybe? That ever elusive thing. He... doesn't say anything more. Words really wouldn't do any justice. And frankly he's still not at the stage where he can say Thank You yet, so. One was free to interpret the silence as such.
He was going to be his own person. Never too late, and besides fifty wasn't actually that old for a Zabrak. He just likes being dramatic. As he do. ]
[ Maul never thought of it beyond the fear that struck him when Sidious came to eradicate them. Though now, perhaps such a thing was worth feeling pride over. The Emperor thought HE was a rival. He could be more; be something different. He already had been so why not make another change?
Much to chew on; but he might have maybe smiled (gross). ] Good night, Ezra.
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And in this case, how do you honor the man you knew while facing the man he is not yet and may never become?
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[More lightly-] I support this man, try to give him some comfort, even advice. Pay the things Master Kenobi gave to me forward. [With some humor-] And try not to mention when I'm practically quoting him to himself.
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Needless to say, he has a few thoughts on the whole Kenobi thing, given its Kenobi, but in some miraculous turn of events the Zabrak kept them to himself. Snide comments and all. Those could come at another time. The silence continued for a long time until he was certain, he was positive of what he wanted to say. Difficult as it might be he was going to say it confidently. ]
I want— to trust you. I do not expect the same.
[ A long pause. ] I do not know how much or in what way; what I want to become or— but I know that how I feel now and the actions I choose rarely serves me in the end. This pain... [ Strained, easy to feel. It was overwhelming. It no longer gave him power. It controlled him instead of allowed him to grow. ] It stopped serving me years ago. I blamed Kenobi for that for many years. [ He... kind of still does but one step at a time. ] The truth is, Ezra. It was always going to be Anakin. If I had not been presumed dead on Naboo my time would have come one way or another.
And I am tired of being in the shadow of a man who had long stopped being my Master. [ That was it, wasn't it? He claimed to no longer be a Sith but he preached what Sidious taught him all the same. Arguably not even true Sith philosophy in many accounts. ] It does nothing for me. I knew it long ago, but then you came along and I thought maybe this time. I can't. There is no this time.
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But he sincerely believes Maul is digging down to pull out things he's been avoiding, so in this sense, that was a lot of words.
He replies, simply, slow but mostly even in tone-]
It would have been Anakin. Or if not him, someone else he thought he could get some new advantage out of. No matter what, he wouldn't have given - maybe he didn't promise things outright, but I'm sure he implied them. He never for one minute wanted you to be...a person, actual and whole.
He wouldn't have tolerated at his side, someone he believed could come out from his shadow, be his equal, or surpass him.
I think...if you keep looking, really looking, at yourself and everything around you, and be honest with yourself about what you see, you may find that, in fact, you can be all those things. Complete without him, and greater than him. Not in the way of the Sith, I suppose. But in your own way.
[Ezra believes Maul is all those things already - a whole person who isn't beholden to Sidious. But he needs time to see it.]
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Yes, well he did claim that we had become rivals. [ That ended with am amused chuckle, and funnier yet was that at the time he hadn't even considered the idea. His talk about how he'd done everything in service of Sidious was partially true. He'd indeed been seeking ways to once again prove himself a worthy apprentice. Foolish now when he thought about it. ]
[ But there was a pause; a surprise in how Ezra answered. Feelings that he thought not possible while still breathing and alive. Perhaps feelings that Ezra could feel. Things that weren't so dark. Hope, maybe? That ever elusive thing. He... doesn't say anything more. Words really wouldn't do any justice. And frankly he's still not at the stage where he can say Thank You yet, so. One was free to interpret the silence as such.
He was going to be his own person. Never too late, and besides fifty wasn't actually that old for a Zabrak. He just likes being dramatic. As he do. ]
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And stays silent for a short while, as he feels a small shift in the Force. Lets the moment rest. But eventually-]
I like my quiet early mornings. [And it is late - an explanation, before he says, voice heavy with warmth, because he's smiling-]
Good night, Maul.
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Much to chew on; but he might have maybe smiled (gross). ] Good night, Ezra.